I don't know if anyone here has read my situation, here is the link to posts I have made about it:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=89984

Short story my wife came home last week Monday and told me she didn't love, need or want me and nothing could fix it. I was smothering her and she had had enough of my angry outbursts.

I did not know, after 17 years of T that 1. Anxiety makes you want to control, and 2. Anger is the flipside of Anxiety. The two things I was doing that was driving her away...all my fault!

I have not been angry for a while now, almost a month, for some reason it's just gone...the anxiety of us not working out is killing me. Even though we have talked and talked, and she has now promised to not leave me and that eventually everything will be ok, I can't stop the thoughts. I can't stop the 1000 reason she'll leave me thoughts. They race in my head at night and whenever she's not around. Even if she's home. I have to restrain myself from overloading her with questions (yet I find myslef doing it anyway...but she needs space and time, I really am trying...it's so hard) because of my deep insecurites.

My T said let the thoughts come, and then tell yourself that you're ok, and that even if she did leave you it doesn't matter you'll be ok. No, that doesn't help. It won't be ok. I have lived alone, that's not the problem, it's her I don't want to be without, that is my deep rooted fear, well that and fear of abandoment, but really, if I analyize the situation, I have been married 4 times and have never felt like this in any other break up, being alone isn't my fear, being alone without her, is. It's her I want and need, I can't inundate her with all this all the time, but again it's soooo hard. Sorry to ramble, just ... scared.

Thanks for "listening!"