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I am a recovered multiple. My selves are integrated. It was not an easy decision or process but I feel better now with all the parts of me together. At first I tried for what my therapist called family harmony. This worked well for quite some time. Gradually my selves began to mesh back into me. This happened after I determined I was safe now . I haven't really lost the abilities of my selves I just do them now like one liked to draw. Now I draw . Another protected me. Now I have her strength and wisdom.
I think of me as being like a piece of stained glass. Lots of pieces all making up a beautiful picture but each with it's own color.
My littles were terrified of being integrated but stopped being so afraid when they realized the pain they held would be gone. Which is not to say the pain of the traumas was gone but now I could deal with it as an adult. It has allowed me to live in the present.
I will always be grateful to my selves for keeping me together for so long. I'm not saying integration is right for everyone but it has helped me tremendously.
The only negative thing I felt from integration was taking on some of the problems my selves had like one heard voices and I'm not talking about other selves. I now have those voices and am getting treatment for them. She was too afraid to get help. I am not. I want to get better and I think one day I will. I am already so much better.
Take care and it was good to meet you all.
Kayti
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