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It's been 3 years since my "abusive" relationship ended.
I use quotes, because sometimes I wonder if it really was "abusive" or not.
Can anyone relate to that?
I mean it wasn't physical, so I didn't have bruises or broken bones to prove it.
Maybe I was just oversensitive?
Before the relationship, I always hated it when people were mad at me and would go overboard to avoid that.
I was always a really, really bad worrier—about everything.
In the relationship, I spent every day 24/7 doing stuff to avoid pissing her off or triggering her anger. Not that it was successful.
But, maybe I did all that worrying and all those things (taking care of her needs) because of some sicko need in me and not for "survival"
Cause I certainly abuse myself now. And it's been 3 years 'free and clear' of her. She never even tried to get me back, after the first week of phone calls and letters she gave up and never looked back (thank god!!!!!)
I worry and do obsessive stuff 24/7 now.
My T says, yes but then it was "real". Now it's OCD.
Maybe I just made it all up????? Maybe she wasn't even abusive???? Maybe I have just always been OCD?????
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