so sorry that you're experiencing this anxiety, zen. you are an honest person and that's why these fibs are bothering you. here at pc you stated what's going on with you and about making up excuses. if you really trust this church friend to care and understand, why not just explain to her what's going on with you? i bet she would select a better time for you all if she knew. as for being around ppl i sometimes get that way too. perhaps there's a time when the church isn't so full. also the same applies to when you do go out....try to take a supportive friend and pick times with less ppl out too. at xmas i avoid the malls like crazy. i can't tolerate the crowds. so i shop for gifts all thru the year when i do go on short outings. each short outing makes me feel more comfortable while i am out. i'm reducing the external stimuli and taking everything in moderate doses.
i hope what i have found helps me, may help you too!