Diann
My mother was BP and I was the object of her manic anger.
I could do no right.

When she was manic she had an unquenchable hunger for sex.
Her brothers and sisters seemed like they sexualized everything.
I grew up in an atmosphere of molestation as well.
All that hyper-sexuality had to go somewhere.
(I have gotten lots of good therapy.)
My poor father watched as my mother flirted, invited men home, ran off with men and finally had affairs in the hospital.
She was a busy woman.
He stayed through it all.
Just before he died she was courting a new boyfriend. It never ended.
Practically on his deathbed he threatened to divorce her.
She decided from her room in the mental ward that he was already dead.
He died shortly after this.

My dad stayed loving and steady through all the years.
It was his nature and he loved my mother so much.

Her desire was not in her control nor could she stay faithful...
when the new meds would kick in, and her depression well on its way, she was so very sorry for all the damage she did while manic.
After doing ECT she might not remember but she knew by looking at our sad faces that something had happened.
She had a breakdown almost every year of my life till I hit my middle 20's.

I think mates who deal with BP partners are super special people.
NAMI helped me a great deal.
they are good folks.
They are my neighbors and friends.
None of us get through this life without some struggle and pain.

Dianne my heart goes out to you.
I know I felt better having people to talk to about all these issues.
As a child I felt so alienated and alone.
The community just didn't know how to help.
I kept too many secrets and didn't know how to reach out.

This is a different time and there's so much out there for you to consider.

I will check in for updates on how things are going.
Ganesha