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Originally Posted by ihateit
Well, I screwed up this morning...
I'm a seeker of love, meaning that I like to be held, cuddled, kissed, etc., and this morning when I got rudely awakned by our dog waking our baby, after putting him back down, I went downstairs and she walked right bye me. I didn't go off, but I pouted, she did finally ask what was wrong and I told her, and I was upset, not angry, but upset, when I told her, so you know my tone wasn't the best  . I am a very insecure person and this kinda thing scares me, I wonder what she's thinking, like "what an idiot", "he did it again!"...*sigh*
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Hi Ihateit.
I'm sorry your going through all of this. To me it sound like you need reassurace both mentally and physically right now and based on the past you haven't been getting it . And its anyones guess as to if or when you will.
Just one thing that comes to mind as a PSTD'er myself is
I tend to "store and ingnore" and "forgive and forget" too quickly. And I learned to " not tell" and to "stuff it" by using food.
I learned HOW to do that to survive in my childhood right on up until today.
I had a friend named Diary back In 1965. In the few brief letters to her I am learning much about just how alone I was in the war zone . How i used to talk to myself and answer . and how I learned to say
Ps..... Forgive me , Im sorry .....
Patricia
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Afterward I felt horrible. I know she's not a "morning person", and I really wasn't awake. I was upset that she didn't come straight to me and hug me and kiss me good morning, but she's not that way in the first place (love seeker, as I am), and in the second place, again, she's not a morning person.
 
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