I think you head the nail on the head Mult- I am scared to do these things on my own, cause honestly when I did i was horrible at it. But I do love him. I sat down and talked to him yesterday about how i feel. Can u believe i never told him when the abuse ended? He thought it was 10-15 years ago not only a year before i met him. No wonder he could never understand why i'm still dealing with it. he said he's whole outlook of me changed. He also said he couldn't believe how strong i have been! Later last night he gave me a love letter that was so sweet. And has apoligized for all he's done again. He promised to talk to me more about what i want which of course made me beam. Thanks all for the advice and opinons you all are so wonderful.