Sorry to hear you're in a bad place again Ry. It truly is a wretched place to be, I'm not going to deny that but you also know that it will pass. Force yourself to get ready for that party and make up your mind that you will have a good time. Don't beat yourself up sweetie. You've gone through a lot of loss and heartache lately and you've been going through a lot with therapy. Cut yourself a break. You always say that I can bring a smile to your face when you're down, is it working this time? You're going to get through this one, just like you've gotten through all the ones in the past. Sometimes I think you put way too high expectations on yourself, going gung ho with determination to beat this thing. Maybe a little slower will work better for you. I'm not saying lose that determination you have, I admire that in you but don't set your expectations so high that you can't meet them. You don't have to do everything all at once. Give yourself more time, it's not a race. You're gonna get there. I totally believe in you. I'm also extremely proud of you and everything that you've accomplished since I've gotten to know you. You should also be proud of yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back instead of beating yourself up. Don't let that depression convince you of things that we all know, including you, that are not true. I hope I managed to get even just a half smile out of ya, did I Ry, did I? How about a whole smile now? C'mon you can give me a full smile. I know you can. I have total faith in you. Take it slower and don't put high expectations on yourself for your party tonight either. If it doesn't work out for you, then so what, it's just one party. In the grand scheme of things, it's nothing. There'll always be another opportunity to try again and again and again. Opportunities for baby steps will always be there Ry. You know that fighting this beast will always be, sucks but with BP, there's no getting away from it, just don't let it over-power you. You're the stronger one. I KNOW YOU ARE!!! Now, give me another smile Ry, c'mon, you know you wanna!!! Take care of yourself, my sweetest, bestest friend. Keep safe!!! Love you to pieces.

((((((((((((((((( Ry )))))))))))))))))