Let me come from his side...just to play it out.

I have a Panic/Anxiety Disorder, which lead to me being controlling, and if I couldn't control I would lash out. Almost ruined my marriage. I see in him, from what you are saying, pretty much how I felt, and really, still feel about my wife, and although I no longer control her, she knows that her and our children are the center of my world. I and I WOULD be lost without her...yes, I'd live, yes I'd go on, but I don't want to. She's my all, and funny enough I wrote her a poem once calle Obession, for Princess...

I don't know if he has any mental issues, maybe he does and those can be dealt with as I have been dealing with mine.

Saying all that I agree with AAAA and Multipixie - you can't make someone love you, you don't chose who you love, you just suddenly realize I love this person...if that's not how you feel, I would say let him go.