It's getting more dangerous.. To the point that last night I was on the phone to Connor and kept dissociating and coming back to reality when he was in the middle of a sentence, so I had to keep asking him to start again.. he got angry and I tried to explain, but got more and more angry and burst into tears.. I was in so much pain because I'd been having horrendous abdominal pains, had ECP out to see what it was, they tested for a urine infection and couldn't find anything.. They said it could be that I have a stone lurking somewhere in my stomach or if I'm pregnant (which.. God help me if I am), it could be something to do with that.. So yeah, i burst into tears because i just kept dissociating and was in so much pain, so confused at that moment in time..

I dissociated and whacked my head lots of times again, accidentally ending the phonecall with Connor.. I cried for ages and he called me again and I apologised, trying to explain, but we were about to end the phonecall when I dissociated again and came back, confused again. I said to Connor "what were you saying?" He said "I was waiting for you to go.." I apologised again and put the phone down, crying more and more.

It's getting worse and more dangerous, causing me to SI again and again.. I'm having a hard time of it right now and it's really getting to me, upsetting me.. I can't live like this my hair's falling out worse than ever now, too