(((((((((((((((earthmama))))))))))))))))))))

oooh - sounds so painful. I can almost feel your pain.
I'm sorry you are going through this.
Can you try to allow the feelings to come and go? Maybe recognize the overwhelming sadness, acknowledge it, and feel it wash away like a wave on the sand. You might have to do so many times but it might be better than hanging onto it? .........
IDK - I wish I could be helpful.
Could you make an extra effort for self-care today? - music, coloring, a movie, taking a walk in nature?
Don't just try to bury it, but try to care for it by self-soothing and being good to yourself. You SO SO SO deserve goodness.
sending peaceful thoughts and a million hugs.....
kt