I'm sorry that you are having such a rough time. It sounds very scary and frightening. Not to be too intrusive but when you were at the hospital or if you can go back do you think you can ask them for a therapist? I think they were able to see the severity of the situation and may able to help you find someone, maybe they can speak to another therapist and let them know you really want and need the help.

Also are you anywhere near any universities or colleges? Often times they have programs and may be a resource for you or have some ideas.

I found this site if you are near Missoula -
http://www.missoulian.com/articles/2.../lifelines.prt

I hope you are feeling better, sounds like you have some great support in your boyfriend. I hope that you use this site to help but also find someone to talk to.

Keep us informed