non existence often seems like a beautiful picture.

But... I don't think we can get it. pills dont just make you fade... they make suffering first, and so often they make you end up gagging and in a wretched state. Sorry to be so blunt. jumping is a **** ton of pain. That's not non existence. Sleep - well depends if you dream or not

so really, it might be nice but it's not something we can get. again sorry to beblunt. How about wanting nice existence? Quiet, happy existence. You may laugh... you may think it's impossible to acheive, but ... i think it's more likely than that beautiful non-existence you crave ... and.. honestly its more enjoyable anyway

*hugs*
i hope you can find a quiet happy existence, just for a little... or maybe another type of existence you can find that you like and can hold onto


loads of hugs