I do let a lot more go by now, ignore what I can, give other residents time to maybe call on authorities. Of course if an actual crime is happening or I'm pretty sure domestic violence is ongoing, I make the needed calls.

Our apartment management has outright asked us to help them out, report violations. I deal with whatever is right in my area, but otherwise work to protect myself a little more, not be so wide open to whatever is going on elsewhere.

Last month had to deal with my next door new neighbor who was happily cooking his steaks on a hibachi outside right against a shared wall, smoke filling neighbor's apartments upstairs, seeing flames outside my window wasn't fun. Turned out he was stoned most likely and wasn't really understanding my suggestions, I later did mention it to management, his hibachi is now moved a bit further away. I felt really anxious during this but have used this and other experiences to learn from and make choices.

Boundaries has a lot to do with all this, I now have much better boundaries. I am -here- and they are over -there-. I have room to make choices.

Sarah