Definitely I think foreplay is very important... And also I think that sometimes we focus too much on the O part, leaving out all the exquisite things in between! The O shouldn't be the ultimate goal, just an expression of what all happened before. If your gf is the shy type, I am also, then I advise a long play time before and a lot of reassurance, like your beutiful, i love your lips or anything of that sort(think about a body part u love most of your gf, and convince her that u completely adore)... Maybe u have to build confidence first a little since both have recently lost virginity. I think many women, included myself, need a real warming up... Some women get real pain at the begaining of their sexual experience and may take some time to feel confident and relax. Forget about your up to now frustrated attempts and concentrate on the parts u like from one another. The clitoris can also be stimulated with your penis instead of the hand, for example, and maybe both can get an O mutually by this without penetration. Once you get across this path u can attempt penetration. Explore,explore and explore! Patience is also an important factor... rap