parents... my mother has done that kind of thing lots too. Its not your fault, please don't blame yourself

Again, this is NOT your fault. If you don't feel for someone, you don't.

I just want to say this... because you remind me a lot of what I was like, when I was home. Dunno how old you are... assuming you're still living with Mother, which level of school are you in?
About, relationships. Feelings are what they are. You can't force them. You can push them deep down inside but they are still there. The feelings WILL come. I took a long time to get a bf. I barely felt for anyone, I had a crush or two but did not act, the time was not right. honestly I'm so glad I waited. I have found an amazing person to be with now. And I know, that if I had faked a feeling, or had acted too soon it just wouldn't have been the same. Sorry that he's sad, but he would have been so much sadder if you had given him romantic interest without feeling behind it - him find that out later, that would have hurt SO much worse. You did good.

Please, try not to blame yourself. I have problems with this, because ofmy mother yelling at me so much, I have a huge tendency to blame everything on myself but... I think both of us have to realize that we are not the cause of all the bad things, we are not bad. Hey, if we could control all this, i dunno about you but for me no one would be mad at me, my mom would be happy,... everything would just be. Too bad I don't have that power. But... just because I"m not all power, doesnt make me bad, same goes for you

hope at least some of this made sense - I'm kinda having a day where I ramble, so neways
sending hugs