You said exactly how I feel, you put it perfectly. And the more people try to tell you to pull yourself up by your boots straps, the worse you feel because I just can't. Even if I can consceously realize there are good things around me it doesn't matter I can't pull myself out of the pit. Then I feel so guilty, and question if I'm doing this to myself, what is the matter with me? I've been this way all my life, antidepressants help,but they don't stop it, they just make it so I can fake it better and maybe make the pit alittle shallower. I am in T for the first time now, I hope to understand things better, and maybe cope better. good luck to you, I feel ya