I do think that there is a difference although I don't know that I can define it, but I definately feel the difference. I don't believe it to be a lust thing either, at least what I'm talking about isn't lust. Sex doesn't factor into it at all. I remember watching my great-grandfather looking at my great-grandmother, he was madly in love with her. It was plain for the world to see, and I highly doubt they were having sex into their 90s (this was before viagra), but they were still very affectionate.

The best way I can describe it is that our love is a living thing, a block of living tissue if you will. When something negative happens in our relationship a bit of that tissue dies. It will regenerate itself and grow further if you nurture it, but if more and more negative things happen you can actually kill it completely.

My husband and I have been married a long time. I would love to be able to say that I've been in love with him each and every day of the last 25+ years we've been together. But I can't, there have been times when we've neglected our relationship and it's withered. I can say that I have loved him with all of my heart and soul each and every day. We happen to be in the "madly in love" stage.

In my opinion, you don't need a sense of newness to be "in love" with your partner, you just need to re-discover your relationship, look at it with new appreciation.

Maybe it's a woman thing, but it sounds like you wife was telling you that your relationship needs some nurturing. Romance is not the end all, but it does help. I'm not talking about seduction, I'm talking about romance. Expressing your desire to be with only her because of who she is.