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I got this thought in my head and I can't get it out.
It is: I don't have a right to post here anymore, because I stopped taking my meds.
Is that stupid?
I had a T a while ago that said she didn't "see" anything but a bit of depression and a bit of anxiety and now I am hell bent on finding out if I am really bipolar 1. ( I was DXed 25 years ago)
I just had a mixed episode that ended a month ago. But it was triggered by Prednisone. I am off the prednisone now, and I think the mixed episode and "crazy" thoughts are over, now.
But I am feeling extremely negative and having lots of suicidal type thoughts and I am sort of trying to hurt myself physically (not cutting). But, I am chalking that off to sudden drug withdrawal (seroquil and welbutrin). I have been off the meds for 3 weeks now. (I’ve been off lamictal for 5 months.)
I am really freaking out about this. What if I really am not bipolar? I've been through all kinds of Mental Illness hell the last 25 years. I've been hospitalized several times, had ECT, been on meds, SIed, had one major suicide attempt, never had a full time job... If all I am is "a bit" depressed and a "bit anxious", what the hell have I been doing with my life????
Is it OK with you guys, if I still post on here?
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