No, you haven't made me angry in the slightest.

Yeah, the rage and power are addictive. Seeing the pain from emotional or physical or simply humiliation gives me this rush of excitement. I've watched (and continue to watch) numerous videos of various forms of pain and they all give this rush of excitement.

Unfortunately, I am not spiritual in the same sense you are (I think). The only "god" I believe in is myself; if I want to do something, I'm doing it irregardless of what others think or do.

I don't have any children as of yet and don't exactly plan to have them very soon, simply because young children tend to get on my nerves very fast.

Yes, the isolation is a real bother (I assume I cant swear on here). I've had few try to understand and those few tended to leave. The 1 that is currently staying but also soon to leave is the therapist (she's leaving me as there's a set amount of sessions anyone gets and I'm approaching that limit). I truly don't care about those that do or do not ignore me but I'd much rather have some people to attempt to be with me than none at all. Yes, branded describes it quite well.

I still get these rushes of rage or as you call them "demon runs", as part of the reason is I live with my father, who has NPD, is quite irritating and sometimes a bad temper. Sometimes I try to suppress the rage so I can continue doing whatever I was doing before but more often than not, it just explodes.

I cant say I've had true genuine love, I've had a collection of ex-girlfriends say the famous lines of "I love you" or such nonsense but they were always meaningless. Although human love is one of the many emotions or feelings or whatever you want to term it, that I still just get completely and utterly confused on.

I am willing to give it a chance although this utter confusion and sometimes annoyances from the confusion is something that constantly pushes me away.

But it is nice to talk with someone who has some experience in this, even though we may differ in age, lists of destruction caused, etc.... .

Although one thing that still confuses me about you is after all of this practice and karma, do you actually feel the emotions or is it still numbness or nothingness (with the exception of the anger)?