I can feel it slipping away again. I felt good, maybe not perfect, but almost normal for almost a week, and I was just starting to let myself hope. I was starting to realize that I COULD get better, that I COULD be happy again, that I could come to a place where I wouldn't be depressed. I've been gorging myself on good books and sitcoms -- I even laughed, genuinely LAUGHED while I was watching them. I started feeling less heavy, less like there was a weight in my stomach all the time. I started feeling more than hopeless, more than numb. But now it's starting to go away, and I can feel myself trying to cling to that little bit of hope that I had but I'm so scared it's going to disappear completely, and I'm going to be right back where I started, or worse. I thought things were starting to look up. I don't think I could handle it if all that pain and numbness and heaviness came back. I haven't cried in over a week. Now I can't stop. I'm scared. I don't want to be like this anymore!