Went fo my EMDR session today - was prepared to face the storm in my head where I keep all the fear, shame, anger, despair and tears that are deep inside only to find my T has gone to a storm of her own

She has gone to give support to those who have lost people and the firefighters in the Bush fires in Victoria - her company have sent a few Psychologists there to help out - which is wonderful - I hope she will be safe - I know she will not be near the fires - they are terrible - people have lost everything - my problems are small in comparision to theirs - its all over the news - people in such pain

Im not coping well - its pathetic - I have a roof over my head and food in the cupboard but I want to curl up and disapear - weak and pathetic I hate it tears come to my eyes but wont come out cos Im broken -
ITS PATHETIC!!!!!!!!!!!! - I HATE IT! HATE feeling this - HATE being this way - HATE that I havnt learned anything! HATE being me! - so ungrateful - im so sad and I cant cry - the tears wont come out - what sort of a person CANT CRY!

and I look on Tv and it rips my heart out - if I cant bear their pain at this distance how must it be for them ......

I hope my T is safe - I hope the fires in Victoria go out and the floods in Queensland subside and people can find some peace...

cant do this anymore - going to try and lose myself in sleep... take care P7