My boyfriend and I have been dating since June of 2008, and I really love him. But I have a lot of problems and I keep making a lot of mistakes. I have really bad communication problems, because growing up, I saw how my mom used to get hit for speaking her mind or sharing her feelings. So I've always kept them inside, while they ate me up. Also, I lie. About things I don't even need to lie about. I get scared about something, so I lie. Then I have to make up another lie. And I'm tired of it. I want to be a good girlfriend, because that's what my boyfriend deserves. My lying has caused him not to trust me at all. I have never cheated on him, nor do I want to. I also just miscarried our baby, without knowing I was about amonth pregnant. All of these things are taking a really big toll on our relationship.

I'm a really complicated girl, and I hate that. i really do. I wish I was different and it's like no matter how much I try to change, I keep messing up some more. I'm bi-polar, I have PTSD, I have really bad anxiety and depression, and I need help, I know I do. But I want to work on my relationship...because I really do love him.

Any advice would be highly appreciated. Thank you.