thankyou guys - you said some nice things - dont know that they're true - feel like some sulky 2 year old -stamping her feet - I want to be strong again - I want to be the me I was before - except she wasnt real - ....... im not sure whats real anymore - cant keep track of time - think i need to go back to bed - lost track of time over the last week or so - stress reaction? dunno -

I want to be the me I thought I was...... whoever she was .... I dont care if shes real or not -

raining now - hope it rains where the fires are - the firemen deserve a break and so do the people and animals there .

havnt slept much last few day - mean nights - too hot even with fan on - cooler tonight - night everyone - P7