Hi Lbien, our parents were responsible for our upbringing. They were responsible for us to have a good upbringing. To do that they needed to look after our needs and over their own (children's needs do not mean every want, though).

Now, people other than our parents, that is a little grayer. Some people are abusive but others might not understand what we need. This putting a hand on your shoulder is innocent. No one can read your mind. One thing that I have learned on my journey that as an adult you have to speak up for your needs. Our personal needs are our responsibility. It isn't anyone else's responsibility to look out for our needs. Understanding this helped me a lot because it empowered me. With our parents when we were children, this is different because we didn't have power. As adults when you realize that you have power it is liberating.