((madisgram))
first, I am so sorry you are having to go through this...
you are in my thoughts

Sorry to be so blunt...
Get an attorney who specializes in these cases.

I realize you have already mentioned most of these, but I want to add my two cents.
Get His Records from the alf if you don't have them already...please do it as soon as possible. It's amazing how quickly records are misplaced...
Make sure any and all medications given are listed, dosage, person dispensing them, and the physician prescribing them.
*Do not take it for granted this information will be in the treatment notes. The list of meds dispensed are also kept separately. This also disappears quite quickly.
Request...aka demand...the name of the pharmacy this woman used to "fill" David's meds.
The owner, physician, and the dispensing nurse can all be held liable--the nurse less so since she has to abide by the med orders. However, she will know when/if meds were changed, etc..no nurse will lie at a deposition because it will cost her her license. Obviously I don't know who dispensed the meds. They better have had the training to do so, however.
This place is licensed so call the licensing board and find out how to lodge a formal complaint. It will also allow you access to other complaints from other families. If there are sufficient complaints, it not only expedites an investigation it also provides cause for a class-action suit.
Re the filth. David will not have been the only patient affected.. An investigation will also examine this problem.
Others at the alf may be having health problems related to the unsanitary conditions.

Although deeply sorry for the anguish this has caused you, please don't forget her actions may be considered criminal acts.
Yes, call a local TV station, letters to the editors of any newspaper, notify NAMI
But get those records first.
This woman is already on alert that you are angry.

Your first concern is getting David stabilized, I know.
From my own experience, I cannot tell you in strong enough words to get your hands on every bit of paper connected with his care.
Include any info you can get from the VA. If appts were made and not kept, that is on file. If she has claimed he was taken to an appt on certain days, that is also on file.

madisgram, you are about to start putting together a puzzle that is going to have missing pieces. You do have the chance, though, to minimize the lost pieces.

Absolutely take time for yourself...
It sounds like you are channeling your anger and disgust where it needs to go, but you still have to treat yourself with kindness.

This is far more common than people know...It's saddens me to say it.
The best care will go to patients whose families/patient advocate are visible. Unannounced visits at varying times of day and night, verbal about concerns not just for the family member but their roommates and/or fellow patients, not taking no for an answer and positively not accepting, "I'm very busy right now can you return later?" Your response? "I'll wait right here for you." And do it. Don't move. Hold your pee. They will respond more quickly if you don't buckle under their authoritarian tone of voice.

My very best wishes for you to get this settled quickly.

Capp