And what's worse. . .although I know that my feelings and reactions are probably rooted in my childhood abandonment feelings with my mom, it "feels" like this is all about my t. It doesn't feel that connected to mom. Consciously, I don't feel abandoned by her. I don't feel connected, therefore I never experience abandonment feelings when she leaves after a visit. When I try to get in touch with how i feel about my mom, I just don't. . .feel anything. why? If this is all a result of my childhood traumas, then why does it feel connected to t and not to mom? Why don't I feel any emotions about mom?

This worries me. . .