I guess I felt scared quite a bit the first time I went to see my first therapist. I think it was because I felt desperate and I didn't know what to do. And I didn't want to share that with anyone and I didn't know how a therapist could help but I knew I needed help--I was a mess. Everything seemed terrifying and the therapist was part of that. After we got to know each other, I was not so scared of going to see her.

I have never been scared of going to see my current T. I began seeing him when I was in much better shape than with the first one. Also, he made me feel like he could help me at our very first session and that really helped make me want to see him so I could get help. I wasn't ever scared either of seeing my PNP (my pdoc equivalent). She was recommended to me by my T and so I knew she was a good person.

So I think for me, the fear came because of my life circumstances. When I was bottom, it was scary. When I was more functional, it wasn't so scary. For me, "power differential" did not play into my fear.

puffyprue, I hope as you get to know your pdoc better, it will become less scary. Hopefully, you will gain confidence in her and her ability to help, and she will help put you at ease by being "nice" and taking your concerns into account.