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Hello,
I'm a 20 year old college student. I have plenty of friends and always have (for instance I was homecoming king). I guess you could say I am a people person. My problem lies in my self-confidence and self-esteem. I really hate myself and think I'm ugly and just gross. My friends say I’m good looking but I just don't see it.
For instance, I've liked this girl since about October, but I can never make a move because I'm so scared I'm going to do something wrong intimately. It terrifies me. I'm so scared of being ashamed. Plus, I feel like she doesn't like me (even though her roommate has told me she does). I can't tell you how many times my friends tell me I should just go for it. Even my girl friends at parties tell me she definitely wants me to make a move but I just can't. I'm too afraid of intimacy I guess. Oh and every time she hangs out with my friends and I tell myself there is no way she could like me because everyone of them has some better quality than me.
Somehow I actually managed to ask her out on a date (on Wednesday actually) but now I'm have panic attacks about it. I keep thinking about like a goodnight kiss. I feel like I'm going to mess it up and she's going to judge me and never want to hang out again. I feel like I can't do this but I want to so bad. I really like her.
Btw, I have had relationships in the past, and they all went kind of the same way, but this time just feels worse.
Thanks for your time,
Dan
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