I agree with you on a lot of things ihateit. People give up on marriage too easily and seem to think that they're going to be happy every minute of every day. That's not the case.

There's one line I draw in the sand, also from personal experience. Abuse. And if you add children into that equation there's that much more of an urgency.

My father was an abusive alcoholic, my mother loved him dearly and stayed with him. He DID quit drinking, he did get help become a better person and they remained married until his death 5 years ago. Ahhh a story with a happy ending... for them. Don't get me wrong, other than #1 kids, #2 husband, I loved, respected, adored, admired my father more than any other person on this planet. He was my personal hero. He looked into the face of his demons and he beat them and other than the drinking and physical abuse he was a truly great man. Other than the alcoholic rages he treated my mother with the utmost respect.

Here's the rub, my brother and I grew up with an abusive alcoholic as a father. I was 13 when he went to detox. My brother, 2 years younger, is an alcoholic, he has beaten his wife (they've beaten each other but I digress). My mother stayed because she felt that because of his job and status in the community she would have lost custody, and because she loved him more than life itself. It is my firm belief that my father would have hit his bottom much earlier in his life had she left him. (Their's is a love story for the books, truly).

People do not give children enough credit, they know when things are wrong. Even when you try to hide them. Children DESERVE to grow up in a safe, peaceful place. They deserve to have their parents treat each other in a civil manner.

Just because you've made the mistake of being in an abusive relationship, WHATEVER the form doesn't mean you should stay there. Particularly with children involved their health, safety and happiness must come first.