Quote:
Originally Posted by isb63
Sounds like you dependent personality has sort of a hold on you right now IHI, and you need to work on that . You did okay with apologizing, and letting her know what was going on with you. She just can't respon in the way YOU want, but only in her own wa, which doesn't help you much when you want snuggles and touching and smooches. Be thankful--and tel her often--that she is YOURS and that you love having her around, een when she is "distant". That means a lot to us, believe it or not. Much love, and God bless, isb
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Thank you all for your answers! I now understand A LOT more!
Just a quick explanation about the dependancy thing ... as a child I wasn't cuddled, kissed, told I was loved or they were proud of me. Hence yes I have very low self esteem. I vowed as I got older that I would NEVER be that way to my loved ones, so it may be it's my dependant personality, but it could also be my vow to LOVE the ones I love, as well, both, together, ya know?
I know her ways are different, and sometimes it's hard. I just thank God that she has give us another chance, my mistakes were, to say the least, fixable and I didn't listen to her, almost 'til it was too late. Thank you isb for bringing that up. I have been trying very hard to let her come to me, in her time, but there are times I just NEED a hug or a kiss...I try to keep it to a minimum, to not push her away.
Her T is now going to put her through CBT...I really hope this will accomplish what she wants, to put it all behind her, and be able to "feel" things again. I don't know what she goes through, what she went through, empathy can only go so far when something like what happened to her hasn't happened to you. I know there will be times during this CBT where she won't even be able to look at me, I will have to be the silent, invisible person, whatever she needs, I am here to support her through this. I just pray she gets better.
On a side note, if anyone out there has PTSD and has been through CBT, could you please PM me...I know what the CBT entails, through reading and her telling me what her T said, but I have some things I would like to discuss with someone who has first hand knowldege of it. Thanks!