I am sorry to have upset you. I don't name call because I think it's childish. I understand what you are saying though, if it's meant to hurt and it does hurt, than yes it's abusve.

Think of children though, one minute they say I hate you, you're an idiot, I wish you were dead, and the next minute they are fine, best friends and playing again. As adults, we do the same things, only we take longer to recognize that we didn't mean it, and again, might not know what we are doing is hurting someone (if we have some mental block). What I was saying is, he may not know he's doing it, that is all.