ihateit,

We've found another place to disagree. Verbal abusive is worse than physical abuse in my opinion. Bruises heal, but verbal abuse stays with you forever.

Yes my father did get better, but my brother and I paid dearly for that. Was the cost worth it? I don't know. His success did have other costs as well. My cousin was married to a very abusive man, he beat the hell out of her all of the time. The worse was when she was six months pregnant with her second child, she finally got the courage to leave. Being a single mother was difficult for her, different members of our family had the ability to help her but they refused. Two reasons sited, 1) this is your husband, you married him you belong with him (faith based bs) 2) Tom (my father) went through this stage, look at him now!

My cousin and her sister are two very beautiful and talented women. And I mean beautiful, the elder of the two modeled to put herself through college and had she been taller there's no doubt in my mind you'd know her by name. But they are a product of a verbally abusive home. Nothing drastic, they were not called stupid, but they were called ugly, b.itch, and other childish things by their parents. They grew up with no self esteem. Each married total and complete jerks.

In my opinion, anything that is meant to humiliate, control or cause suffering is abuse. The problem I think is that we see some of these actions in ourselves and are not willing to define them as abuse because of that. It's like porn, no clear definition in the law, but you know it when you see it.