Tao that is not a very good place to be in and i know it is a part of you that is deceiving the part of you that has a will to keep on moving.. take breaks as needed and i know this can pass for you.. when the going gets so difficult that we are gritting our teeth and spilling from inside with fear, pain, doubt and self torment it is very difficult to see the light but know that it is always there and you can reach it in your own good time..