Thread: Sent spiraling
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Old Feb 10, 2009, 06:18 PM
phoenix7's Avatar
phoenix7 phoenix7 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2008
Location: Australia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hangingon;942673)
I have no idea what happened. I have always been the type to be in control of everything that I possibly can.

[B
thats probably it you know - with SA there is loss of control JMO - it takes you back to a time when you couldnt help yourself and that feeling is horrible and echoes from your childhood to the moment when you tell[/B]
When I say spiraling, I mean I felt sort of out of control, I had to do a lot of self talking. The problem is, it hasn't been like that for so long and my first thoughts were, I can not go back to how I was. I just can't go through that fear and anxiety again. It was trecherous.

you did it before and survivied - that made you stronger - why is this so hard...... Im trying to say it sucks - you shouldnt have to go through this but somtimes we do and it sucks !!!!!!!

and you certainly have a lot going on at the moment which probably didnt help -
I just hate this, I hate being an adult and feeling like a child at times.

I think thats a control issue - the child inside (for me) is full of emotion and out of control - when she comes out I cant control her - she wont be controlled - and I live my life in control... does this make any sense to you.....
I try so hard to intellectualize everything; I know there are some things that I just need to ride out but I usually end up attacking myself instead about how stupid it is because I am an adult and shouldn't be letting this bother me. Ugh....sometimes I so wish I never opened up...
Me too - I think it through and say now I understand it so that should make it ok - it doesnt - if it bothers you it bothers you for a reason - it wants to be healed - and ive found it doesnt shut up till its heard - not opening up .... yes seems like it would be better at times - but it doesnt fix anything - somtimes we have to go through the pain to get to the other side - its not good - its not right - it just is what it is....

I hope things calm down for you and im glad your T is going to let you lead the way in what you want to talk about - sorry for long answer P7
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