Thanks, kiya, sittingatwatersedge, and phoenix.....

The hard part is, as a little child I don't remember feeling out of control because I only remember things right to the point they were about to happen and then the memories are gone. I do remember fear when they were about to happen and I knew something was wrong.
I can recall things said, going into the bathroom, person coming to my bed ect....but then, it's as if I blacked out, I don't remember what happened during or after.

In talking about it, emotions are coming up that I can't really explain. I only have one memory from start to finish when I was a bit older. This makes it much more frustrating. I've had one memory surface since talking about the abuse but I haven't told my T about it yet.

In the back of my mind there is this fear of more that will come up, things that I don't want to know. If that makes sense.