I think this is a really important discussion to have. If you don't get reassurance that you can still see her if you SI, then you may begin withholding the truth from her because you think she will "drop" you. I also wonder about her "stable" comment. So the people who are the least stable aren't given care and the people who are the most stable get care from her? Wow, I feel bad for all the people who aren't stable--who will help them?

I agree with Simcha, you were very brave to reveal your SI to her so soon. It shows your dedication to healing, and I bet she is very excited at that, at the prospect of someone who really wants to work at getting better.

Her request that you give your SI tool to her made me feel apprehensive (not for you but due to my own stuff). I used to SI many years ago and my tool was a special thing to me. I would not give it to someone I had only just met and didn't know or trust. Plus, even if I didn't use it, it's existence and proximity could be reassuring to me, and this would be lost if I gave it to someone. I don't know--it seems a presumptuous request from someone who doesn't even know you. Plus, she is focused on an object--the tool--rather than the reasons behind your wanting to use it. So what if you give her a tool--you could find something else to use, so what would that solve? I think I'm a bit like ECHOES. For me, the work on SI wouldn't focus on the SI behavior itself or the tools, but on the reasons for the SI. If you can solve those problems, then the SI behavior will extinguish.

I hope you stick with this T for a while and give her a try. I think her attentiveness may be disconcerting at first, but it shows she is interested and that you have her full attention. These are not bad things!

Good luck.