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Old Feb 11, 2009, 06:05 AM
Luce Luce is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,709
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lbien6 View Post
And the therapists were told to tell them that "if you perceived it as abuse, then it was."

What the heck does that mean??????

I find that very invalidating, personally.

Are you trying to tell me that if I 'perceived' abuse when my friend patted me on the back, that she did in fact abuse me?????
That is a ridiculous example, I know, but I am trying to make a point.
I sort of agree with you on this. In a way I think it is a validation game in that many people don't feel they have a right to their pain unless they were wronged - ie: 'abused'. But, I personally think that many hurts can occur without the source of that pain necessarily fitting a dictionary definition of 'abuse'. That doesn't make the hurt any less real or painful. Our emotions are what they are and I believe we have a right to them no matter what their source.

I definitely don't believe people should subscribe to the belief that 'if it feels like abuse, it was abuse.' I do believe that if something caused us pain we have a right to feel and heal it, though.