the thing is, you already do know - if THAT makes sense.
I have come to the conclusion that it's all in there, just a matter of what we decide we will remember or not. And also, that "not wanting to know" is what hurts us - once whatever it is can be brought out into the light, we can see it with adult eyes and for what it is; if still left in the darkness it can throw a huge scary shadow that presents a much bigger size than the actual memory (keeping in mind that memory is of things that were, and are no more). Since I started with T, I have dragged out a few of these and no they sure weren't what you'd prefer to have around, but their power to hurt is less than it was.