I'm not eating. It's not exactly that I've lost my appetite so much as that I don't enjoy food anymore, to the point that I lost over 10lbs in three months and I walk around trembling because I can only manage about one meal a day. I'm not doing it on purpose, I just hate eating. Nothing tastes good, nothing gives me any kind of satisfaction. I thought it was because I'm a student and pretty much spent the last two years living on cafeteria food, but it's extended to everything, even my mother's cooking (which is the most soothing, delicious food on the planet). I don't know if it's because I find it such a chore to sit down and have a meal, because I don't have the energy to so much as make myself a bowl of cereal, or what, but I get absolutely no satisfaction from eating anything. Sometimes I don't mind eating fruits but that's about it. My meds and therapy have started kicking in so that I am having a lot of really good days, but even in the best mood I have absolutely no desire to eat, not even if I'm starving. When I finally do force myself to eat -- and every time I eat anything, it's forced -- I can only manage tiny portions. I can't even finish a small salad anymore.

This has nothing to do with my weight. Body image has never been a problem for me. I never thought I was a bad weight before -- in fact, I think I'm starting to get too skinny! I don't like running into people I haven't seen in a while because the first thing they say is "You lost weight!" and then they ask if I've been sick and I lie and say that I do a lot of walking to get to class (which I do, but not nearly enough to burn off that much weight). I've kept my depression a secret from a lot of friends, but I'm worried that people take one look at me and know something is wrong, and I get uncomfortable because I'm convinced they know I'm not being honest. At the same time, the people who DO know that I'm depressed are getting really worried. My mom thinks I'm going to make myself sick if I lose much more weight, and I agree with her. I hate freaking her out but I don't know how to fix this. How do you have a balanced diet when the thought of eating even your favourite foods is about as appealing to you as eating rocks?

Is this part of the depression? I know that losing joy in things and not having the energy to complete simple tasks like getting dressed are part of the symptoms -- I've experienced both. Have I just lost the satisfaction I felt from eating, or should I be worrying that this is something else? I'm not sure what to do. I think I'm starting to starve myself, but I'm not doing it on purpose!!