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dear turquoisesea,
i went through incredible turmoil at times when i was dx as DID for about 4 years. i had a very very strong "denial" system. i went back and forth like a frickin ping pong ball: am i no, am i..NO. oh no i am not...yes I AM, no i am not. shut up i am too. nuhn uh i AM AM NOT....... keep doing that for long and you will feel just crazy.
my insiders said and did a lot to "get back" at me for ignoring them, rejection of them, doubting them. my T had to really work with me. i feel a bit dumb now but it was just a huge struggle with me because I HAD BEEN PROGRAMMED TO DENY MY INNER FAMILY!!!
all i know is that when i began to accept my insiders and get of ALL of our BACKS life began to get better. i am becoming their advocate and their needs are as important as mine (though i still mess up and don't always do it right)
please try and not be like me. it took me 14 years to get here. if i had been able to be on places like this before and talk with other DID people like myself i may have healed much faster than i did - that is not really a fair statement because it is what it is. BUT, you are free to heal and grow and change at you all's own pace.
hugs sweetie, don't be so hard on yourself and on them! =)
leslie and her people
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  HEALING HAPPENS
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