this is naomi from the constellation. you sound like me about 18 mos ago. my T put me in the hospital. at first i hated her for it. but i soon learned that i am good for something. you keep talking about you wanting to hurt yurself and about all this stuff.

you are calling for help alot louder than i did. i never told. i hid it. i snuck the blades. i hid everything so no one knew. finally my T saw my wrist. i guess i pulled up my sleeve or something.

there is a great hospital for survivors. i can pm you with the name if you want. i don't know where you live. it's in Kansas City. the program saved our life.

i learned new ways to cope with things. sometimes it's hard and i want to SI again, but haven't for almost a year.

it so sounds like you are asking for help and everyone is offering and it seems then like you don't want it any more. like you just want to hurt yurself and then tell us about it. that's confusing.