My husband and I have been married for 10 years...I had my daughter young..( I was 19) and I was alone..My husband adopted my daughter when we got married...the biological father has been out of the picture since the very beginning....
I see history repeating itself.....although I was as open and understanding as possible with her...gave her everything I could in regards to being there...the best education...life experience (travelling, ect.)....there is so much out there that I missed, though and I was hoping she could experience that.....but now she is going down the same hard road that I went.....
I am 38 and still in school....we don't have alot of money and live in a 2 bedroom adult-only apartment building...it is nice but not by any means luxurious...
My parents helped me when i came home pregnant..but they have money....and resources and I fear I cannot give my daughter and this child the financial resources they need...and i fell terribly guilty...I feel guilty for feeling angry and resentful and dissapointed...that maybe in the end I didn't really give her what she needed to avoid this from happening again...
My husband is very stubborn...and somewhat empty emotionally....he is very "logical" and finds it hard to think outside the box. He very rarely speaks and when he does it's usually to critisize....or control....he is not a "warm" person and his relationship with her is tense as well.......
I cherish any response.....I feel so alone sometimes...I don't have a huge social circle as I have issues with social situations...I feel as though I don't fit in..I do best with children and animals actually....
I hope I don't sound too "flaky"....
__________________
a cat's whisker is so sensitive it can find it's way through the narrowest crack in a broken heart...=^..^=
|