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Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge
the resolution you made is so brave! Hang onto it!
and about the little emoticon you have here - please be gentle with yourself.  |
Thanks, Sitting.
I feel like I am at a crossroads with therapy. That maybe it has sufficiently connected me with past pain. Great, I know it's there. Why on earth would I want to put myself through it again, in therapy? It feels like I'm banging my head against the wall. Just putting myself in that same position over and over again. Maybe time to move on... I guess we'll discuss this tomorrow.
I understand Briere's theory of therapy up to a point. I understand the idea of triggering emotions that remind you of old trauma, so that you are aware of them, break through the numbness, and can consider whether your reactions in present day are really based on old hurts. But once you've been reminded, once you are aware it's there and that it sucked and that it will never be able to be fixed. Well...what else can therapy possibly have to offer? I don't get it.
Here is another part I liked, sort of on that point. I guess I don't see how to "process" and how that will resolve anything:
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As described earlier, negative relational schema usually are triggered within the context of a close or significant relationship, since the primary activators of such schema are phenomena such as intimacy, interpersonal vulnerability, loss or abandonment, betrayal, or violation...Although such seemingly "borderline" responses are often immediately problematic during therapy, ultimately their emergence is both predictable and, to some extent, necessary for significant recovery to occur. Absent such relational triggers, therapy might be easier to conduct but would be unlikely to activate the very material that has to be processed before the client's relational life can improve.
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