hi Tao, i sense that you are very sincere in your postings here.. i can sense a rythmic cycle in your ups and downs that isnt present from those posters who either cycle only in one area, never rising or falling, or swing wildly from high to low.. yours is a cycle which is in response to life events that you are clearly able to describe and explain, which would naturally produce some sort of high or low phase.. (for example, tense at test times, low at family gatherings, etc..)

someone who is 'pretending' would be incapable of maintaining anyones trust for a great length of time..

PC is to share and heal, as you obviously are on track towards...

i pray you soon feel relief