Quote:
Originally Posted by bonaire
I agree. I think people like you and I had a high sex drive when we "flew the nest" away from home. I had a mom who raised me with limited affection - sure, there was a lot of caring mom stuff, but little in the way of loving affection, closeness and teaching about life. It was more like "you wouldn't want to do that...", "why should I support your college funds if you're just going to go out with girls". that kind of thing. So, yes, I had a high sex drive from that. But it wasn't an affectionate drive - more of a physical drive. I don't think it would be the same as if I/we were raised by affectionate families with a lot of "I love you, son", "I really think you're doing great", hugs, affection, talking about life and all that. That would lead to more personal growth such that intimacy was more important than sex.
You can be sexually addicted and not be very good with intimacy. so, I'm just trying to show the difference. I look at it as:
intimacy is freedom of expression and connected souls. sexuality is freedom of sharing your physical needs.
|
I grew up in a family where affection lacked significantly. I was never told "I love you", "I'm proud of you", they never hugged or kissed affectionately. My father mentally abused us, and sometimes even hit, just because he was set off by the smallest things.
I believe in life, many things you are faced with you can go two ways...in this case you can be like your parents, or, as in my case, I vowed to never be like my parents. I tell my children all the time I love them, give them hugs, let them know how proud of them I am, and am there for them, even when I had my Internet gaming problems, I was still there for them. I am a touchy feely guy, I love hugs, kisses...and sex is just sex, but when you are with your partner (married, both of you truly in love, not just a b/f -g/f) , it's not sex, it's making love, it's the greatest form of intamacy you can share with your partner. Don't fake it, we can tell...My wife has PTSD and we go through sexual droughts, she used to fake it, but I am a long lover, and making love to somoene who doesn't want to is not like the pizza addage...we are in one now, over a month, and she is seeing T to go through CBT, I am here to support her and I love her, so the no making love thing is on for a while, it won't happen, but I can wait. I hate not getting the affection, but I have to deal with that because I love her and want her to get better. I would go with what others have said, see your doctor, but alos consider you may have an issue where you might want to see a therapist.
GL tho, it's tough, but you can get through it!
