*****************Trigger for suicide***********************


He was 19. I wouldn't know him if I saw him walking down the street, but my heart is sobbing at this. He was bipolar and had tried this before. He was living with his father in Illinois. His mother and I used to be so so close when we were growing up. Then she became pregnant in high school and shut herself off from all of us cousins. We used to do everything together. Her dad and his wife (her mom passed away years ago) stay at the same place as my folks in the winter in Florida and someone went and got my dad Sunday night and said that Ron needed him. He wanted my mom and dad to ride with him and his wife back up here to Michigan. At the time, all they knew was he was dead. Before they got here Monday, they found out it was suicide..he cut his wrists. I sat up all night just wondering how his mom will take her next breath? How does she do the simplest thing, like brush her hair? She had another shock coming, though. She took clothes to the funeral home for him (I don't know how you do this) and was told she needed to bring a turtleneck. He also hung himself in a field---no one was going to tell her about that, just about him slitting his wrists. She found out from the funeral home director. How? How do you not tell a mother how her baby died? I know her and I have not been close over the past 20 years, but I just want to hug her and heal all her pain. To those of you who have lost a child, I don't know how you do it, how you survive daily. I'm sorry, I know this is rambling, I'm just having a difficult time processing this.