yup - I totally agree that if she is throwing a tantrum because she doesn't want to go to school than it is very important that she DOES get to school and get there on time. Little kids need their parents to teach them good boundaries. Her job right now is to attend school.

You might consider speaking with her teacher(s) and let them know she is having a tough time coming to school. Perhaps there is something going on at school that is causing the trouble. Perhaps in cooperation with her teachers something can be identified and a solution found. Maybe school is hard for her and she is not confident of her academic abilities. Maybe another classmate is picking in her or maybe she never gets to sit in the favorite bean bag chair or something like that.

Does your daughter ride the bus ?? School buses are famous for being very unpleasant environments especially for young kids. Maybe the bus ride is the problem. If the bus is the problem, perhaps you can take her to school yourself and skip the bus.

A suggestion is to offer an immediate reward for your daughter if she skips the morning tantrum and goes to school without a fuss. You can tell her your plan ahead of time - not in the heat of the moment but maybe the afternoon before. You can tell her that if she can show what a big girl she is and use big girl words instead of toddler tantrums, then right after school the two of you will go ... get ice cream to celebrate her new big girl skills. Or maybe go for french fries or some small treat. If the tantrum occurs - then you can tell her that "I'm sorry that you have chosen to skip getting ice cream today. I was hoping we could go. Lets try again tomorrow. " And then stick with it. As tough as it is, try to stay calm and use a non-yelling voice.

What I used to do for my son when he was preparing for a tantrum is "I'm sorry, I can't understand what you want to tell me. Please use your big boy voice and words so that I can understand. " Eventually, all I would have to say is "big boy voice" and the whinning would stop.

Hang in there - parenting is a tough job and your child will not appreciate your efforts at this point. Maybe down the road when they are parents themselves will they appreciate all your efforts.

Good luck to you.