Because every time I sleep now, i have horrible, vivid dreams that, when I wake up, seem so real.. Just last night I managed to get a few hours of sleep, but woke up at 5am because I had a dream that I'd gone to see my dog.. When she saw me, she started to growl at me and give me looks and sniffs as if to say 'I don't know who the hell you are'.

I woke up with a start, after she "bit me" and I remember crying in the dream. I woke up crying and I felt so, so awful afterwards that I just couldn't sleep at all.

What if my dog doesn't remember me, hates me? Doesn't love me anymore..? What if my dog just doesn't see me as the person that loves her, cared for her and still wants to care for her?

I've been so upset about it all morning..
Another dream I had was the night before, when i wasn't eating. :/

Basically, I was sat talking with Connor (we're on a break) and he pulled out some star shaped shortbread biscuits. I remember eating one and when i woke up, i still had that same taste in my mouth. My God was that awful. I panicked so much that I'd eaten, that I had to run around my room for a bit and drink something to make the taste go away. Looking at the clock, it was 5am AGAIN. It seems that my dreams always happen around then..

Apparently, the night before that, when I'd slept in a friend's room, I'd woken her up, by sitting up, wide eyed, gasping and saying "f*cking hell!!!" This is so unlike me.. I never swear in my sleep.. I mean, I've done it a couple of times, but never literally shouted it and woken someone up :/ I have no idea what the dream was about and I don't know what all these dreams are all about and it's beginning to take over my life because I'm so worried that I'm seeing things that are going to happen, or something.. Because with the dream about the star shaped biscuits.. The next day, Connor got me to eat star shaped shortbread. It's really scary and I'm terrified that when I see my dog, she will hate me

I'm even more scared that she's going to be in a sorry state because of being bred so badly I'm going to take some photos of her when i do eventually see her, so that if she is in a pretty sorry state, I can have proof of it.. I will post them up when i get them. I just hope that none of these other dreams will come true.

Sorry for the whinge. I'm just so, so scared. I almost SI'd this morning because of the dream. It's getting too much