ive read all youve written and have done my best to understand your dilemma.. is there a third path? one in which you survive just fine, get over this, and continue on your journey, discovering that each illusion of closed doors mystically erases itself when you really get there?

closing options down to two only for yourself severely limits other possibilities and even tho someday we all must agree to let life pass, until then, survivors search for options..

perhaps your old T has more than one eason for being unable to see you now and if you give the situation some distance and time for the variables to change in your favor, there is still a chance of re-connection?

there are several options available to get you thru this time... self education and sharing in areas where others are also attempting self improvement and mutually discovering resources and other answers is someplace you can begin..

dont throw in the towel, the story is only half written